But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
