She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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