whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
