they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
