strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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