this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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