Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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