I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
