you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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