Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
