Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
