My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
do nipples grow back?
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