I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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