I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
