i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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