and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
