then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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