come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just had sex bonerless
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
