I CAN MOONWALK!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
