she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
