If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize