I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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