clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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