I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
