I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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