Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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