No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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