My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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