The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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