I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I want her autograph on my taint
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
