I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
