He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
