Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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