Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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