I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize