do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
