if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
