if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
