I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
