we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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