Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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