my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
