I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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