the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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