You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
