I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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