when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize