I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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