i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
how drunk are you?
Several
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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