Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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