My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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