Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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