The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
