Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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