Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
