Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize