It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
