Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
