i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
