all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You took a bar mat shot.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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