if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
